Hard to see

My smile became so rare,
And I want to see you burning,
Because you are that nightmare,
That keeps me tossing and turning!

One day I'll commit suicide,
Just so that you see, you weren't right.
And I hope the memory of me will stay,
Until the day, you will fade away!

That my wrists are cut, you'll never know,
I was able to hide it somehow,
Because I didn't want to steal,
Your time that could make me heal.

You thought I were that strong,
But my bed is always bloodred.
But until you realize you were wrong,
I'll be already dead...

I want my memory to remain,
To simply bring you that pain,
That I had to resist,
That made me cut my wrist.

I want you to cringe, every time you think of me.
I could never be what I wanted to be.
You controlled my life,
What lead me to my knife.

And I want you to know,
I were never happy here.
And I couldn't live on with the sorrow, the pain, the suffocating or the fear.

I used to hate everything about you,
Your face, your voice, your name,
That you always thought you knew,
That I were the one to blame.

I always forgave every single sin,
That made me bleed within.
You fighted me, hurted me,
I was quiet, so you couldn't see.

You were my parents, but I want you to know,
That it's your fault, that I'll never know,
What 'family' is supposed to be,
Because you could never see.

Before I die, I want to say something.
I want to apologize for everything.
I never wanted to be anchoring you,
I want to say 'I always loved you.'

And I want to ask you something.
Was it really that hard to see,
That you broke my wing
And hurted me?