Okay, so I barely survived day one, but there were a lot of days left to follow. So after that day with my new girlfriend I came home and we started to write again. We talked about our day together and we agreed, that that day was wonderful, full of magic moments. We were really in love these days. She loved me and I loved her back, although I was never sure if I was planning to hold her, I had always this issue in my head: 'Is she the right one?' But like I said, I had no experience for love and everything we did together was the first time for me, the first hug, the first kiss, the first walk and so on. So I thought what we had was kinda special and magic, but this would turn out wrong, but I'll tell you later. So we kept writing and meeting. I started to be sure, that I would want to hold on to her for the first. I told my friends. They laughed, because they thought she was ugly. But I didn't care. So I kept being with her. We met several times and I really started to like her, after all these fights in my head. So we enjoyed our time. Everybody said, that she was way too ugly for me and I should leave her for someone cuter, but I didn't want to. I was about to figure out what love is. And I really didn't want to give up that feeling just for someone cuter. One, the main reason actually, was, that I knew I wouldn't have chances with a cuter girl. Like I said, I was an asshole, that's what you have to remember, always in this story. But I also kinda liked her, so I stood. But there was always this one really big problem our relationship was based on, her best friend. They were still in contact and still really good friends. And I kept talking to that other girl, too. So she didn't stop loving me. I thought this was bad... And it was. So my girlfriend and her friend always talked about that, but they never really found a solution for that. So it came to that day, the day I will always remember. It was the day where my problems started. I was in school, I saw my girlfriend. I walked to her, to say 'hello'. I hugged her and smiled at her, but she didn't even look at me. I tried to talk to her, she didn't reply. Then she suddenly ran away with one of her friends and I didn't see her again that day. First, I didn't think of anything bad, I thought she forgot something or something like that. Later I started to worry a bit, but I kept telling myself, that she wouldn't leave me, because everybody said I was too cute for her. I hoped so. After school I had a tennis match, it was in the same town, that she lives in. I played tennis and then, suddenly her sister came along. She laughed at me and went away again. I never really got to know her, so I though she was just weird. I won the game, it wasn't barely though. I was happy I won. I went home with a big smile on my face. I texted my girlfriend to tell her, but she took like forever to reply. She didn't say anything to the match, all I got was 'We need to talk..'. Now I was sure, I failed. We talked. She told me that she couldn't be with me, because of her friend, she couldn't stand to see her sad and that it wasn't my fault. But this felt more like an excuse, I felt like I just wasn't good enough. I was really sad and disappointed. It was my first love and it broke, so easily. When I think back, I remember a quote I read, 'The one to show you love, is the first to show you pain'. Thinking back, I think, that love is such a fragile yet strong feeling. It can break so easily, but throw you to the floor within a few seconds. If it works out, all is great, but once it breaks, you will find yourself crying. I cried that night, I don't deny. It was my first love, it was my first hug, it was my first kiss, it was my first hand to hold. It was so special to me, but I guess not to her. I didn't love her so much, but yet I loved her a bit, not enough to leave an inner scar, but at least a scratch. So I kept crying that night, it was a friday. I also wrote with that other girl again. She built me up again. But she also kinda used the wrong thing to cheer me up, she told me she was still in love with me. When I read that, I instantly stopped crying and was almost happy. I wrote with her all night and after that night I kept thinking of her. I felt there was something new to come...
~TO BE CONTINUED~
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