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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Blind Heart In A Deaf Guy's Chest (Part IV)




So yeah, my third girlfriend within 7 months. I may seem to be a player to some of you, but I can tell you that I'm not. I was always serious, I just wasn't sure what to do sometimes and I did mistakes. Yeah, blame me for that, but the one free of sins may throw the first stone. And I can tell, that all of the people reading this are not free of sins. Not because you are bad or evil people, but because no one is. We are humans, we do mistakes, we fail, but we are destined to get up and try again and move on. So there we were, me and that girl. I can tell we were both really really happy. We called each other every day, because it was not that easy to meet as she lived a bit further away... But it wasn't hard to keep in touch. When I first kissed her on my concert, I first told a girl that I love her. So it took me three girls to finally speak these three powerful words. With her all my fears of love were taken, I knew love has overwhelmed me and I can give in to that feeling. What I didn't know back then, that this was just a bit of love. But that was part of my future back then. So me and her were pretty happy together. We laughed together, we cried together, we fighted and then we forgave again, like a relationship should be. We usually met twice a week, so we used to see each other each week. We seemed to have a perfect relationship, she was a bit jealous, but it didn't bother me,... well at least not in the beginning, she also got mad really easily. There were a few things that were not that good about her, but I tried to deal with them and it worked.. for the first. So we got to be together for about a month and a half until a day, that made a change. I went out with friends and I got to know a few girls there. We had a nice day together and took a few fotos and they uploaded them on Facebook. My girlfriend saw them and got jealous again, she got that jealous that she didn't even want to talk to me anymore. So I was talking with one of those girls. She said, that my girlfriend wasn't right with being that jealous and that I didn't deserve that, because we were just friends, nothing more. Then she said that her friend, which was with us that day, too, fell in love with me the moment she saw me. But I didn't feel anything for her. We once met together again, but there was nothing more than friendship for me. But then the whole group met again and the girl I was talking to was there again, too. We already knew each other a bit better than last time, because we kept writing, so we talked a lot, we talked and talked. We ignored the rest of them, we were completely busy talking. And lately, we were completely busy with falling in love. Later, in the evening, when we were all at home again, I kept writing with that girl, while calling my girlfriend. My girlfriend noticed something was different and she was already jealous on that girl. She asked me if I met her again, but I denied. She knew I was lying. She told me I'm in love with that girl, but I said I was only in love with her. I wasn't actually lying, because I didn't knew that I loved that other girl, yet. So I kept meeting my girlfriend and kept telling her that I love her and kept kissing her. But later the other girl told me she loved me, she told me via the internet. And, honestly, I felt something, too. So we met each other in the cinema. Me, still taken, and her, deeply in love with me, we sat there watching the film like everyone else at the beginning, but it didn't take long until she was laying in my arms. We were just there, she in my arms and I happy as fuck, but we didn't kiss each other and I didn't tell her that I feel something for her, too. From this day I started to care more for that other girl than my girlfriend and I think, again, that I was an asshole. Yeah, it was the third girl in a row that I treated completely wrong, I don't doubt or deny that. But I felt like it was worth for me. I felt like I was on the right path this time. Me and that girlfriend reached two months, then, at valentine's day, she broke up with me, because I didn't really care anymore. I was really sorry, but I was single now. And that meant that I could meet that other girl again. This relationship taught me, that no matter how perfect a thing might seem, there will almost always be something that is not perfect. Like every human has it's problems, so have relationships. Not everything that might seem perfect, is actually perfect, it takes a closer look to see the little cracks in diamond walls. Perfection is so hard to achieve, in looking on a relationship it's not impossible, but it takes two hard working people, to gain. Two people can only gain the status or a perfect relationship by realizing how imperfect they are. 
-TO BE CONTINUED-

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